Thursday, April 05, 2007

Blackberry Muffins

Before we get to this amazing recipe from Elise at Simply Recipes, I must talk about my ride home from work yesterday. As many of you know, I take public transportation to work via the T. So, I was sitting in a single seat on the train flipping through the latest issue of Woman's Health, when I noticed a man standing next to me who kept shifting in his pants, and grabbing at his crotch again and again. I'm sitting and he's standing so yes, I'm at eye level with his crotch.

I never look directly at the crotch, I'm catching all of this action out of the corner of my eye. Try as I might, I can't seem to stay focused on my article, so I decide to look up and see what the hell is all the commotion going on in this guys pants.

It's at that point that I came face to face with his CAMEL TOE. Now, I know that women who wear pants that are too tight will display to the world the inevitable camel toe, I however have never seen it in the male gender.

This man was not thin, he would be, oh, let's say portly? And his britches were so tight that they caused a veritable male camel toe, which obviously bugged the living shit out of him because he could not stop shifting his weight, manually shifting his penis and constantly moving the seam of his pants to from one side of his manhood to the other. It was at this point, transfixed by the uncommon sight that I came up with a new phrase to my arsenal of sayings; this man ladies and gentleman exhibited the perfect MAMMAL TOE, the male equivalent of camel toe. It is a rare sighting, let's hope you never pick your head up while on the train and come face to face with this one eyed creature, it's not a pretty sight.

Now what you really came here for, the recipes. This recipe comes from Elise at Simply Recipes. who's website I find myself going back to time and time again, because her recipes are always delicious and easy to male, I mean make, oh Freudian slip. Here is Elise's recipe.
2 cups all purpose flour
1 Tbsp baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 large eggs
1 cup sour cream
1 teaspoon milk
2/3 cup sugar
8 Tbsp warm melted butter (1 stick)
1 teaspoon vanilla
11 oz of fresh blackberries, cut in half

1 Position rack in center of oven. Preheat oven to 400°F. Grease a standard 12 muffin pan or line with paper muffin cups.

2 Whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a large bowl.

3 In a separate bowl, whisk together eggs, sour cream, milk, sugar, butter and vanilla.

4 Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture and mix together with a few light strokes, just until the dry ingredients are moistened. Add the berries. (If you are using frozen berries, defrost them first, then drain the excess liquid, then coat them lightly in flour.) Do not overmix! Overmixing will cause the muffins to be dense, not fluffy. The batter should not be smooth.

5 Divide the batter evenly among the muffin cups. Bake until a toothpick inserted into the middle of 1 or 2 of the muffins comes out clean, 17-20 minutes (or longer). Let cool for 2 to 3 minutes before removing from the pan. If not serving hot, let cool on a rack.

Rating = So God Damn Good




5 comments:

Patricia Scarpin said...

JB, you're the best. Not only now I have one more recipe that I want to make (desperately, I might add, since I love blackberries) I also had some humor in my gray morning. ;)

sandi @ he whistlestop cafe said...

What a picture...both the muffin and the mammal. I knew I didn't like riding the T- now I know why!

Judy said...

Yes, I too have seen the 'man camel toe' and it is frightening.

Kate B said...

I love it - mammal toe!

Kate B said...

Love it - mammal toe!