Thursday, October 15, 2009

Until further notice...

I hate to write this post...it just sucks...where I'm at right now.

I have spent the better part of two days at a hospice center - trying to say goodbye to a father I never knew.

Never in a million years would I have pictured myself at the deathbed of a father who was absent my entire life.
Never would I have thought that when this day came I would be filled with so many emotions, least of all sadness.

But I am sad, and frustrated and angry at how life can switch gears on you so quickly that you feel your legs will give out from under you if you move just the slightest inch. I'm walking a fine line between all my emotions right now.

I will be back...when I am back to being myself...I'm trying to find her right now.

I will be back as soon as I can.
Jules

10 comments:

Kate B said...

I'm so sorry you are going through all this. It's hard to lose a parent, I know. I can't imagine though what it's like with all the conflicting emotions you must be feeling. Hang in there and take care of yourself.

TaraTC said...

So sorry to read this Julie! Will keep you in my thoughts.

stoned fox said...

wtf Jules. Call me if you need anything.

AlwaysJoy said...

Julie -
I have been thinking of you non-stop! I am so sorry, please please please call on me if I can do anything!

Brenna said...

Julie, I had no idea. Sorry to be late catching up. I hope you get the time and space to sort things out during these bedside days, I have a feeling you won't regret having been there. I'm thinking of you, xo

Erin said...

I'm so sorry. Take care of yourself. Looking forward to your future blog posts.

AM said...

My Dad died in 1999, a man I hardly knew. It just pissed me off that he died and I didn't know him. I'm sorry for your loss, it will suck for a long time. Let your husband help you. You're in our thoughts.

Terri said...

Wish I could say anything that would help. You are in my thoughts. All the best to you at this diffcult time. Hugs.

Tricia said...

I am so sorry you are going through this Julie. My thoughts are prayers are with you and your family now.

Patricia Scarpin said...

I did not know, dearie. I'm sorry for what you've gone through and for you loss.
My heart goes out to you now.

xx